A few days ago I told you I would post my personal testimony, well here it is! If you or someone you know if dealing with cancer of any kind or just going through a hard time, I hope that my testimony will help you in some small way.
Blessings to you all, Kimberly
Monday, October 8, 2012
I am feeling super duper good today! As most of you know I have been though quite a journey over the last 6 months. Discovering I had thyroid cancer. Not one, but two thyroid surgeries. Having my gallbladder removed, and having to fight my way back from a life threatening staph infection. It has been just one thing after another for months. There were the “why me” thoughts and the “what if” thoughts that go along with those circumstances. I was really blessed early on to come to the “I can’t do this on my own” thought. I realized that there was nothing I could do by actions or sheer will to get me though this. I could only get though this by giving all of this mess, pain, sickness, stress, and even my healing to God. I had to believe in my heart and soul that He could get me though this and my only job in all of this was to let Him do His work in me. So I did. I gave it up, all of it. I said it out loud “God, I can’t believe this is happening to me. I have no power in me to fix this, only you can do that. You allowed me to do amazing things WITH cancer inside my body. Only by Your grace was it found at all. You must have had a reason for them to find it now and I trust your judgment. If I did so many wonderful things with cancer I am sure You have some awesome plans for me to do without it. So I give this cancer up to You. You alone can heal me Lord. I have trust and faith in You!” At that very moment I was freed of any worry or concern about it. I can honestly say that I have not worried once about it from that moment on. It was the most freeing prayer I have ever prayed. He assured me in that moment I would be taken care of and He could walk me though anything I may face.
All of that has lead up top something that I came to clearly realize today. I'm SURE you all know about this diet that I have been on for the last three weeks. I've been complaining about it on Facebook for days. :) It’s like nothing I have ever done before. No salt in my diet. (No iodized salt anyway) Well I challenge all of you to start looking at labels. We are being salted to death people! It’s put in EVERYTHING! When you buy pre-packaged “healthy” meals, do you know why they taste good at all? They fill it full of salt! I have heard (and I'm sure you have too) that fresh or frozen fruits and vegetables are better for you than canned. That canned food doesn't have the same nutrients as it did before it was put through the canning process. But canned food is so easy sometimes. Well it’s full of guess what…SALT. LOL I'm sure you all knew this already and in some ways I have known this too. But have your Doctor put you on a low iodine diet and try to eat like you did before. Let me tell you now…you can’t!
That is what brings me to my most recent discovery. I find it so interesting how God can use all sorts of situations for us to grow and learn to lean on him. This was a big one for me. This was like no diet I have ever been on in my life. There was no option to “cheat” for me. You know you have done it. You decide to eat healthy and then get invited to a friend’s football party. You tell yourself you deserve to have fun and eat right along with the rest of your friends – just this once. Yea right! Then a few days after that you take your child to a birthday party and they offer you some cake and ice cream. Well you can’t turn that down, that would just be rude! Well I didn't have those options. This diet was mandatory in order for my cancer treatment to be successful. One morning I had to wake up and change the way I was eating at the same time as stopping my thyroid hormone pills. Let me just say my hormones are all out of whack and I could easily cry over anything. The third day into this diet was the worst day. I was stressed, I was tired because of my hormone imbalance, and I was flat out craving a huge Sonic Blast! (Can’t have any dairy on this diet also) I was volunteering at the church that day and I went to a secluded spot behind the sanctuary and cried my eyes out to God. I was so frustrated. I had to come to him again and say “I can’t do this! You, Lord, have to get me though this because I had no idea until this moment how much I got my needs met by food. My life depends on keeping to this diet and I'm STILL having a hard time with it.” Think about this people. I have to get this procedure done in order to save my life. Yet at that moment I would have been happier to have a huge burger with lots of cheese and salty fries then I would to eat a salad and save my life. That is amazing! How can anyone think that way!? If I was on the outside of that situation looking at someone else going though that I would have thought they were crazy. Isn't it obvious that you don’t need to eat that stuff? Your life is depending on it. I wouldn't think it would be so hard to stop. Well I can tell you from personal experience that it is hard and it takes way more than plain old will power to do it too. It took believing that God was more important to my body than any food I could eat. I had to believe that He had some work to do in my body and part of that work required me to starve my body of what it was used to and retrain it to crave the foods that God wants me to eat more of. Have I enjoyed this process…no. But I have learned that I really do enjoy my vegetables without ranch. I love a good avocado & baked chicken salad, and I don’t need ice cream as much as my body wants it. I am even having dreams about granola bars for crying out loud! LOL
Today I got out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror and was in total shock. I look pretty good. The best I’ve looked in the last 10 years. I feel good about what I look like. I haven’t felt that way in probably 5 years. The last time I checked the scale before my quarantine I had lost 18 lbs. I’m sure I have lost more this week. I’m excited to step on the scale and see what it says I have lost now.
What does all this mean? What this means to me is this… I can do all things though Christ who strengthens me! And God can use ALL things for good, even cancer. I don’t think God wanted me to have cancer, but I do believe that he has used this process to open not only my physical eyes, but my spiritual eyes as well. He has shown me that I have it in me to go further than I ever thought possible. And when I face challenges and struggles, if I do so as I lean on the Lord, I can’t fail! Will I keep this weight off? I sure hope so! One of the side effects of taking thyroid hormones is that your weight can fluctuate drastically. But if that comes as a challenge to me, I will do what I have done all along. I will give it to God. He has shown me much love, grace, support. I see no reason why He would stop now.
So if you are going through a trail in your life, I pray you bring it to the Cross. Let the Lord carry you through your trail as I have. He alone knows the paths we should take. Trust in Him and He will see you though.
There are so many people I need to thank for their wisdom and support in this process. Some of you may not even know how instrumental you were. Thank you all again for your continued love and support.
Blessings to you all,